Love's been getting better; less fights, more understanding, more teasing, more comfort. It's a blessed feeling, really (:
Aside from that, I'm kinda of aimless this holiday other than playing my heart out during this much more than well deserved break from academics and maybe looking for a job to patch up the hole in my bank account caused by the trip.
Till I'm back from Hong Kong~
Okay, I'm sorry, but this is REALLY bad English. Like, really REALLY bad. I have no idea who typed this, but I have a very good idea. Trying to finish up the last of my parts for a group report/project and this is making me very VERY cranky. Even more so, when it's almost 3am in the wee hours AND I just realised that I've spent the past 3 hours doing... well... nothing much in particular. ZZZ.
And CRAP! I forgot to wash my clothes. GRRRRRR.
that's where we are. i'm done trying. sorry just doesn't cut it anymore when you do it over and over again without a thought for me.
You expect me to believe all your fucking lies and excuses? Sorry, I'm not stupid. Don't use my being upset as the fucking excuse. You didn't sms me in the morning. So don't fucking tell me it was because you panicked. You KNEW I had a headache right from the beginning. You didn't even fucking offer to come. So don't use my being upset as the fucking excuse. You CHOSE to go eat with them KNOWING I had a fucking headache.
Don't pretend like you don't know why I'm upset. If you don't know, then you really proved that you aren't worth a fucking second more of my time. But I'll be kind and fucking spell it CLEARLY out for you like I have to for EVERYTHING else.
I'VE BEEN FUCKING SAYING THAT I WANT TO GO TO FUCKING IKEA NONSTOP FOR THE PAST MONTH. I WANT TO FUCKING EAT MEATBALLS THERE. I WANT TO FUCKING GO EAT THERE WITH YOU. BUT NO, YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING CARE BECAUSE YOU NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN FUCKING REPEATING IT OVER AND OVER AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN. NO. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE TO REGISTER THAT I'VE BEEN SAYING I WANT TO FUCKING GO TO IKEA TO EAT MEATBALLS WITH YOU. YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING CARE TO SUGGEST GOING THERE TO EAT WHEN I'VE BEEN SAYING IT ON FUCKING REPEAT.
I FUCKING WAITED AND WAITED TO FIND A DAY TO GO EAT IT WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH I COULD JUST HAVE FUCKING GONE DOWN TO QUEENSWAY TO BUY MY FUCKING CONTACTS AND EAT THE FUCKING MEATBALLS ALONE. BUT NO, YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE.
ALL YOUR BUDDIES NEEDED TO DO WAS SAY "HEY LET'S GO IKEA TO EAT" AND YOU HAPPILY FUCKING WENT WITH THEM WITHOUT A FUCKING CARE ABOUT HOW LONG I'VE FUCKING WAITED TO GO THERE TO EAT WITH YOU. OH NO, YOU DIDN'T FUCKING CARE. NEITHER DID YOU FUCKING CARE THAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF OUR SPECIAL DAYS THAT I WANTED TO FUCKING SPEND WITH YOU. NOR DID YOU FUCKING CARE THAT I WAS HAVING A FUCKING HEADACHE.
OH NO. YOU DIDN'T FUCKING CARE. SO QUIT FUCKING TELLING ME THAT YOU CARE ABOUT ME MOST. YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T CARE HOW MUCH IT HURT ME. NEITHER DID YOU HAVE THE FUCKING COURTESY TO TELL ME YOU WERE GOING THERE, TO THE FUCKING PLACE I'VE WANTED TO GO TO FOR SO LONG. YEA, I HAD TO FUCKING FIND OUT ABOUT IT ON FUCKING FACEBOOK. FUCKING FACEBOOK. DON'T FUCKING TRY TO TELL ME IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL ME ABOUT EVERYWHERE YOU GO. DON'T YOU EVEN DARE FUCKING TRY TO PULL THAT FUCK ON ME. OH WAIT. YOU ALREADY DID. SO FUCK YOU. YOU WERE FUCKING SMSING ME ALL THE WHILE WHILE YOU WERE HAPPILY ON THE FUCKING WAY THERE. YOU COULD HAVE JUST FUCKING TOLD ME IN ONE OF THE MANY FUCKING SMSES YOU SENT. BUT NO, YOU JUST DIDN'T FUCKING CARE. I HAD TO FUCKING FIND IT OUT FROM FACEBOOK. JUST LIKE HOW I HAD TO FIND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR FUCKING LIFE THROUGH FACEBOOK OR WHEN I OVERHEAR YOU TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE.
OH AND STOP FUCKING TELL ME I DON'T GIVE YOU ENOUGH SPACE TO BREATHE. I DIDN'T FUCKING PUSH YOU INTO FUCKING COMING DOWN TO FIND ME NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISHED FOR YOU TO BE HERE. I DIDN'T FUCKING PUSH BECAUSE I SAW HOW TIRED YOU'VE BEEN THE LAST FEW DAYS. I DIDN'T FUCKING PUSH BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD GET MORE REST. BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH ENERGY TO GO FUCKING ENJOY YOURSELF WITH YOUR BUDDIES ON OUR SUPPOSEDLY SPECIAL DAY WITHOUT ME AT THE FUCKING PLACE I'VE BEEN FUCKING LONGING TO GO TO WHILE I SLOG THROUGH MY FUCKING DAY WITH A FUCKING HEADACHE.
AND DON'T EVEN FUCKING TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU'RE THE GODDAMN VICTIM SAYING YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I NEED FROM YOU. EVEN IF I FUCKING EXPLICITLY TELL YOU YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE. I NOT ONLY FUCKING EXPLICITLY TELL YOU. I FUCKING REPEATED IT EXPLICITLY NONSTOP IN YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING FACE. YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING CARE TO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE IT. NO YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING CARE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANYTHING I SAY. JUST LIKE HOW FOR THE PAST FUCKING 3 BIRTHDAYS, I'VE BEEN SAYING NONSTOP THAT CAKE IS THE MOST FUCKING IMPORTANT THING TO ME ON MY BIRTHDAY. HAVE YOU EVEN BOUGHT A FUCKING PIECE OF CAKE FOR ME? ALL I WANT IS A FUCKING PIECE OF CAKE ON MY BIRTHDAY. BUT NO, YOU DON'T CARE.
AND SINCE WE'RE ON THE FUCKING SUBJECT OF MY BIRTHDAY. I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. YOUR PRESENT TO ME WAS SHIT. BUT I KNOW YOU. I UNDERSTAND YOU. I FUCKING KNOW IT CAME FROM YOUR HEART AND I KNOW YOUR INTENTION OF BUYING IT SO I LOVED IT ANYWAY. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE'S REACTIONS WERE WHEN THEY ASKED ME WHAT I GOT FROM YOU? THEY FUCKING STARED AT ME WITH AN INCREDULOUS EXPRESSION ON THEIR FACES FOR FUCKING AGES BEFORE FINALLY RECOVERING AND SAYING "ARE YOU SERIOUS?! HE GOT THAT FOR YOU?!" ONE OF THEM EVEN SAID "IF I WERE YOU I'D HAVE THROWN IT BACK IN HIS FACE AND WALK AWAY. HOW CAN HE GIVE YOU THAT ON YOUR 21ST BIRTHDAY? IT'S SO IMPORTANT. IF IT WAS ME I WOULD BE SO ANGRY."
YOU THINK I DON'T FUCKING ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU FUCKING ARE? I FUCKING GAVE UP ALL MY DREAMS OF ROMANTIC EVENINGS OF ROMANTIC DINNERS OF EVER GETTING ANY SURPRISES FROM YOU. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING INCAPABLE OF IT. I STOPPED FUCKING PUSHING YOU FOR THOSE BECAUSE I FUCKING KNOW YOU CAN'T NO MATTER HOW FUCKING HARD YOU TRIED. I FUCKING ACCEPTED EVERY FUCKING THING ABOUT YOU.
I'M FUCKING DONE WITH ALL YOUR SHIT. I'M FUCKING DONE. GO FUCK YOURSELF AND DIE.
Here's the next of my old emails that I wanted to share!
This story is a good reminder to us to take time to appreciate what you have.
On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the gifts I didn't manage to buy earlier.
When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself, "It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go to..."
Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it was over. I started to curse the prices, wondering if kids really play with such expensive toys.
While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who this doll was for. Then, the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"
The old lady replied, "You know you don't have enough money to buy this doll my dear." Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I started to walk towards him and asked who he wanted to give this doll to. "It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry.
But he replied sadly, "No, Santa Claus cannot bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this.
"My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket."
Then, he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me."
"I love my mummy and wish she didn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister," then he looked at the doll again with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few bills and said to the boy, "What if we checked again, just in case you have enough money?"
"Ok," he said, "I hope that I have enough."
I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money," then he looked at me and added, "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me."
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for mummy but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose. You know, my mummy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came back and I left with my trolley. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I first started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then, I remembered a local newspaper article from 2 days ago, which mentioned a drunk truck driver who hit a car which a young lady and a little girl was in.
The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine as the young lady wouldn't be able to get out of the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
2 days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and headed to the mortuary where the body of the young lady was. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all these away from him.
I think somewhere along the struggles of growing up and coping with the world, most of us (or me, at the very least) have forgotten to cherish. It's a good reminder that someday, things we've taken for granted would be gone. So, learn to cherish. (:
So, I was clearing out my email inbox because there were just too many stuff in there, and I chanced upon quite a few interesting/meaningful ones that I thought I might share here. Here's the first of many:
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up hers, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob, the next-door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized, "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"Ok, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered, "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull, "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Kinda interesting, don't you think? The things we used to send each other via email...


